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The sign on the door read, Scott-Allen Timmothy Andrew Norris, in precise gold lettering that glimmered as it reflected the flickering firelight of the lobby. Tallulah grabbed the knocker with all the confidence of someone who'd had a three martini lunch and slammed it against the solid wooden door. Slowly the door creaked open, as a blast of cold air sucked the breath right out of her chest.

"I'm done Scotty," Tallulah gasped, quickly recovering her composure, her hair pulled back in a tight bun, she was dressed all in black as always, her ruby colored square framed glasses reflecting the fire in her eyes. She thrust form 71B of the Hospitality Engineers Licences Limited hand book at him, "here's your resignation. I am done with this place."

The meek looking banker sitting in the over-sized leather recliner couldn't have been more than 5 foot 4 his legs dangled above the marble floor and his small circular glasses hung down of the tip of his nose. No one would have expected Mr. Norris to look so... So... Puny. People had this belief he was larger than life, a muscular overlord who owned far too much and gave far too little back. He'd owned the chain of hotels as well as a series of banks under the title Savings Our Users Love inc. for what felt like eternity and yet he barely looked a day over 30.

"Well then Tallulah, what exactly are you going to do? How are you going to pay back this debt you've acquired? I believe you're still under contract to us for another 45 years? And your debt to the bank is close to immeasurable. I can't honestly fathom where you think you'll go from here," he wheezed from his chair.

"Yes Scotty and I don't care if it takes me a thousand years I can't work another day in this place, send me up there, I’ll strip to pay you off," she said still full of fire and conviction, her years of loyalty and service had only been rewarded with more and more debt and a conscience that was drowned daily in vodka. Tallulah had reached her breaking point long ago, but Mr. Norris had a reputation and she hadn't dared to leave him until now, the torture that was her job had worn her down and she just couldn't stomach one more day.

"I do believe I have some connections in Winnipeg, I could send you there..." Mr. Norris snorted with a bemused smiled, as he toyed with one of the subtle platinum chains he wore around his neck.

"Where's Winnipeg?" Tallulah asked, suddenly getting concerned, she'd been banking on Las Vegas she knew she could bail herself out of debt there.

"It's a small city in central Canada where the winters hover around -40 and last 6 months of the year, in the summers it sky rockets to a humid 90 in the shade and these small blood sucking vampire insects called mosquitoes come out in full force devouring anyone who dares to go outside, I do believe they have a few strip clubs still, I'll have you set up there for tomorrow Tallulah, but be warned, if you leave I'm not letting you come back, and you'll still be paying down your debts, you'll have very little for yourself you know, it wont be like here where I can take care of you."

"That's fine Scotty I'll go to Winnipeg, anywhere is better than here," she smiled triumphantly.

"And how exactly do you think you'll make it as a stripper, I've never seen you wear anything but a pant-suit with your hair in a bun, you can't walk in heels, and you've got all the grace of a rhinoceros after a Jack Daniels bender, I can't imagine you spinning on a pole," his whiny irritating voice drove her over the brink.

"I'll improvise Scotty, it's what I do best, you've said so yourself,” she started.

“Yes and I've also said you’d never leave me,” Scott-Allen wheezed.

“Besides we know I can wield a whip, we know I can work with some restraints and you damn well know I'm flexible, a stripper in Winnipeg has GOT to be better than a Hooker in-"

"Don't you dare say it Tall," he cut her off, "don't you dare mention this place by name aloud, or so help me, I will banish you right back to the chambers and increase you debt to the point where your great-grandchildren will still be stripping in Winnipeg to pay it off."

Tallulah stormed out, slamming the door behind her, glad to be rid of Scott-Allen Timmothy Andrew Norris. Nothing could possible get in her way now.

When she arrived at the airport in Winnipeg on a blustery Monday morning in January she'd assumed she'd have a minute or two to herself, and yet waiting for her in the lobby was a short muscular gentleman named Bruce who had quickly ushered her into a car, "you're on stage in 20 minutes, do you have costumes?" He'd asked.

"I think I have something that will work," she replied nervously pulling her torture gear from her purse.

When they got to the bar there were only two people drinking light beers in the back as they plugged bill after bill into the slot machines. She walked over to the bar and ordered a double vodka martini.

The cute blonde bartender handed her the drink grinning, "First show? Ya look new!"

"Yeah," Tallulah replied taking a sizable gulp of her drink.

"Where'd you work before this?" the blonde booze goddess asked her.

Tallulah stared into the abyss of her drink taking too long of a pause before downing the remaining contents of the plastic martini glass, “Hell”.
pixietastic: (me2011)
Is there a return policy on children? How about an exchange? I think mine are defective. I'd like a full refund. Heck I'll go for a trade, I've probably spent a small house worth of money on these kids and honestly I'm just not feeling this whole "mom" thing anymore. I don't like the jeans that come with this gig they're too high up in the waist, and they do nothing for my behind, I prefer skinny's, and I'm really not feeling the "up all night" thing when they're sick or teething or having nightmares.

I still have nightmares, I mean just the other day I had one where I was driving a minivan full of children-covered-in-McFries to soccer practice while a baby wailed in a car seat and the damn McDonalds was out of McVodka!

I mean, I didn't really make an informed decision, ya know, like babies are cute with their pudgy little Michelin-Man arms, and round glowing cheeks, their little passed out in a sea of noise, milk comas, but all told, the commercials were misleading, I thought they'd stay small like that and playful. These ones are bigger and they have their own opinions I mean I've tried all the tricks in the manual and they STILL talk back, and the oldest one borrowed my SWEATER this morning, I'm not getting old enough for this, I want a do-over.

Can I bow out of my contract early, 18 years of commitment followed by decades of probation is sounding kind of trying right now. I mean how many more rounds of the stomach flu can we have? And those damn dance recitals, did you know they don't even serve liquor at those things? Eventually they're going to want cars and have boyfriends, or girlfriends or 3 eyed monkeys or whatever the kink-du-jour will be by that point, and honestly I just don't think I'm up for that.

I'd rather be in the Bahamas, did you know my step-daughter and her girlfriends are going to the Dominican Republic to drink those drinks with the little umbrellas for 7 days? I'm still waiting on that honeymoon my ex-husband promised me, don't think I'm going to see that vacation any time soon.

So can't I just return them? I mean the little one's barely been used I just haven't really had the time what with the older ones running around. And the older ones are in excellent used condition, even if the oldest is a little mouthy, I'm sure you could do something with that, a bow or some nice shoes and no one will even notice.

What do you say? Am I really past the refund policy? I'll even take store credit!

Silence falls over the crowd. She's kidding right? I mean my god she's a MOTHER for Christssake, those are CHILDREN she's talking about a slow tentative clap starts at the back, a snort and nervous giggle comes from the front row. She's got to be KIDDING... right?



This is my entry for week two of LJ idol exhibit A; topic: Throw Back The Little Ones

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