Heel turn.

Jan. 24th, 2017 05:07 pm
pixietastic: (Default)
[personal profile] pixietastic

I lost my kid once.

That's not the type of thing you're supposed to admit. Especially in the post-mommy wars world where every sanctimonious first time mother of a 6 day old baby is clearly a better parent than anyone who's been in the ring for a decade or more.

But it happened, just before her third birthday on one of those lazy afternoons in early May, as I was chopping vegetables for dinner and wondering absentmindedly where my life had gone. How had I become this stereotype making dinner for my little family, waiting with the door open for my older children to burst through the after school sunlight in a fury of "can I have a snack" or "what's for dinner". My two year old waiting eagerly at the door for her sisters to arrive and promptly ignore her because no one ever wants to play with the baby.

She asked me something in not quite 3 year old speak that I lazily agreed to but couldn't recall a second later, I was in a day dream of carrots and celery chopping and wondering if I'd ever have a conversation with a co-worker who wasn't 3ft tall ever again, waiting for my husband to walk in the door and appreciate the house work and dinner prep as he always does.

And quick as that thought scattered through my brain I heard the wheels in the back driveway and glanced to the open front door, "G, daddy's home".

But G wasn't there, in fact, she wasn't anywhere. I burst through that screen door faster than a cheetah chasing an antelope. And immediately bumped into my older daughters, the eldest of whom was holding G, "hey mom look what we found," she chided as my pulse hammered through every ounce of my existence. The frantic terror of every single what if.

"I found dem mama!" G squealed with glee, "you said uh huh so I went and found my big girls!"

It took a second. Less than a second even. For her to run out that door into our quiet suburban neighbourhood in bare feet and trot down the sidewalk toward the school.

I listen better now, she's older now. But I'll never forget that moment when a day dream nearly cost me everything.

Date: 2017-01-24 11:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tonithegreat.livejournal.com
Oh, so well done without being long! Beautiful and relatable.

Date: 2017-01-25 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eternal-ot.livejournal.com
Oh! Things happen, don't they? especially when kids are involved. Good to know that she was fine. My heart almost skipped a beat as well :) *hugs*

Date: 2017-01-25 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] m-malcontent.livejournal.com
I think all the mothers I know, if honest, have a story or two like this.

Date: 2017-01-25 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bleodswean.livejournal.com
It's amazing the stories we hear when we choose honesty in regards to telling our personal experiences! I think we all can relate to this. Did you know that a hundred years or so ago they used to tie toddlers to a leg of the kitchen table with a longish rope??? :)

LJI fav reads list, week 6

Date: 2017-01-26 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] livejournal.livejournal.com
User [livejournal.com profile] belenen referenced to your post from LJI fav reads list, week 6 (http://belenen.livejournal.com/682570.html) saying: [...] http://dreamsreflected.livejournal.com/890812.html [...]

Date: 2017-01-26 03:06 am (UTC)

Date: 2017-01-26 08:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] favoritebean.livejournal.com
As a parent, I felt panic reading this. I'm glad G was found.

Date: 2017-01-26 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rayaso.livejournal.com
This was so well told! I can't imagine a parent having several experiences like this. Once they get mobile, it's a whole new world, and it's impossible to watch them every second. Thank goodness the escape was so short lived!

Date: 2017-01-27 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dmousey.livejournal.com
I lost both my children at various times. Happens to most of us! Usually it's fine, but boy can I relate to that panicked feeling. Hugs and peace~~~

Date: 2017-01-27 07:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halfshellvenus.livejournal.com
Oh, gosh, what a panic situation! There are so many terrifying ways that could have ended, and I'm glad it didn't.

wondering if I'd ever have a conversation with a co-worker who wasn't 3ft tall ever again
This, though was comedic gold.

Date: 2017-01-27 02:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-name-is-jenn.livejournal.com
I don't have kids, but I've worked in childcare for nearly 12 years. It's amazing how quickly something like that can happen.

Date: 2017-01-27 03:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bewize.livejournal.com
What a terrifying moment. Thank you for your honest sharing. I've been in similar situations and it is so scary.

Date: 2017-01-27 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] n3m3sis43.livejournal.com
That must have been fucking terrifying. Parenting is hard, lol.

Date: 2017-01-27 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alycewilson.livejournal.com
I can sympathize. That must have been terrifying. So glad it turned out OK.

Date: 2017-01-28 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilz-workshop.livejournal.com
It's tough being parents. Every day is a new experience.

Date: 2017-01-28 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] penpusher.livejournal.com
I relate from the kid side. But that's another story. I always wanted an adventure and always went off on my own when I could, never able to see the problem of doing that from the other side.

Good reminder!

Date: 2017-01-28 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dee-aar2.livejournal.com
A terrifying moment for a parent .... and to think of all the horrors that could happen in a momentary lapse of attention. I am so glad G's moment of escape was brief. Hugs.
Edited Date: 2017-01-28 02:33 am (UTC)

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